Morning at the Muppet Theater
by Rosepixie
Summary: A series of very short stories about Muppets in the morning. There is very little plot, but it is safe to assume that the stories all take place on the same morning, so small connections may become evident. I have no current plans to expand any of these, but may continue to add more of them over time.
1. Miss Piggy

**CRASH**

"Hey!"

"Knock it off!"

"GONZO!"

Piggy groaned and pulled her blankets up over her head. What was _wrong_ with all of them? Couldn't they get it through their uncultured heads that she needed peace and quiet? How did they possibly expect her to get enough beauty sleep with the constant racket outside her door?

When she had agreed to move into this circus of a boardinghouse, Kermie had assured her that she would be able to sleep as late as she wished. How was she supposed to do that with explosions and squawking and impromptu jam sessions taking place right outside her room at all hours?

Piggy wondered if she shouldn't just get up for the day, but a glance at the clock told her that it wasn't worth it yet. At this hour, the line for the bathroom probably reached the kitchen and Piggy refused to wait in line for the bathroom.

A flurry of concerned clucking broke out in the hallway. With an irritated grumble, Piggy re-situated her sleep mask and rolled over to try and get another hour or two of sleep. She could talk to Kermie about the noise issue again when she got up, but for now she intended to pretend none of it was happening and focus on having some sweet dreams.


	2. The Swedish Chef

The Swedish Chef was almost always the first one up in the boardinghouse. When he first moved in it had been to an upstairs room like everyone else. He was clumsy, though, so after a week Kermit had a cot set up for him in the pantry instead. He was much happier here (and everyone else seemed happier, too).

This morning he had decided to make blintzes with fruit toppings. The thin pancakes themselves were simple enough, so he started there.

Once he had all of the ingredients on the counter, he set to work. By the time the Swedish Chef began hearing other people moving around he was vigorously mixing batter. Flour sifted through the air around him and twice he had to wipe egg drippings out of his eyes, but he was confident the blintzes would be perfect.

The batter finished, he returned to the pantry for fruit to serve with the blintzes. The berries had been used up in a food fight the night before (they were a favorite ammunition among some of the smaller Muppets, although that may have been because you could eat them out of the air if you were fast enough or had a big enough mouth), but plenty of lovely fruit remained!

He reached for an apple, but the ruby red fruit screamed for him to stop.

"Use the limes instead!" the apples urged him. "We're much too sour and sharp! We'd ruin your breakfast!"

Nodding at the wisdom of this, the Swedish Chef took the limes instead. Then he looked over at the rest of the fruit. He decided that he should try some of the fruits he hadn't used in a while.

Singing in Swedish (sort of), the Chef filled a bowl with whatever struck his fancy and didn't argue. The bananas were crabby, so he left them alone, but the kiwis, rambutans, physalis, tomatoes, and cucumbers were all collected. The physalis in particular seemed thrilled to be included.

Muppets trailed in and out of the kitchen grabbing plates of blintzes and fruit. The Swedish Chef simply continued to cook as the noise grew around him.

"Ew, this is sour!"

"I know, isn't it great?"

"Mine is furry. Is that normal?"

"Cool! Tomatoes for breakfast!"

"Those aren't the ones they threw at me last night, are they?"

"Man, I can't eat breakfast that sings!"

"Why is the canon set up in the back yard?"

"Bock! Bock bock bock!"

CRASH!

Ah, it made the Swedish Chef happy to feed people!


	3. Rowlf

Rowlf climbed out of his dog bed and stretched. He noticed that there was a lot of commotion on the stairs. Looking up as he passed by he saw Gonzo setting up some kind of elaborate contraption as Camilla and the other chickens fluttered around him clucking. Rowlf was hungry, though, so he simply shrugged and continued on to the kitchen.

Staying as much out of the Swedish Chef's way as he could, Rowlf got out his food bowl and filled it with a scoop of his newest bag of kibbles. He sat down at the table and tucked into his food. He had recently changed from chicken flavored kibble to beef flavored kibble because Camilla had seen the bag of the chicken kind and gotten terribly upset. He was still trying to decide which type he liked better.

Rowlf finished the bowl of kibbles sooner than he wanted to. That always seemed to happen. With a sigh and a wistful gaze at the bag of dog food, he got up, washed the empty bowl, and put it away. He didn't want another lecture from the vet about overeating. Or from the Muppet Show costume designer. It was time for a walk.

As he passed by the staircase again, he saw that Gonzo was now strapping himself to his contraption, further distressing his entourage of chickens. He also noticed the line for the bathroom was getting long. Rowlf avoided the bathroom at all costs (that's where baths happened, after all) and never really understood why everyone else was always so eager to get in there every morning. Outside was so much nicer and there was never any line. He grabbed his leash from its hook by the door and clipped it to his collar.

Heading out the door, Rowlf couldn't keep his tail from wagging. The city traffic was loud, but compared to the chaos of the boarding house, it was a peaceful place to take himself for a walk. He headed for his favorite park. He could find a good stick for a round or two of Fetch with himself when he got there and maybe say good morning to some of his canine friends.


	4. Scooter

Scooter's alarm went off and he slipped out of bed to turn it off. As he crossed the room to the alarm, he rubbed his eyes, trying to squeeze the sleep out of them.

It was early - well before most of the Muppets woke up. Scooter preferred to avoid the morning chaos and head over to the theater ahead of everybody else. It let him get things ready for the day without the constant disruptions.

This early in the morning the boardinghouse was blissfully quiet. The Electric Mayhem had gone to sleep after a very late night jam session and it was much too early for anyone else to be up. Scooter headed to the bathroom. He could hear Miss Piggy snoring in her room and Camilla cooing in Gonzo's room as he passed their doors.

After a quick shower, Scooter tip-toed to the front door. He carefully stepped around sleeping Muppets, musical instruments, and various props discarded indiscriminately around the floor. Sometimes he wondered why they bothered with even the idea of bedrooms around here, since few Muppets ever seemed to use theirs (or anyone's, really, given the number of bodies asleep in the hallways and living room).

Once he had slipped outside and locked the door behind him, Scooter hopped onto his bike and headed over to the Muppet Theater. He picked up a latte on the way, carefully balancing the paper to-go cup in the basket of his bike.

The theater was dark and quiet when he arrived, but Scooter knew that later in the day it would be pulsing with the chaos of dozens of Muppets preparing for the show. He used his key to let himself in the backstage door. He breathed in the quiet peace of an empty theater. As much as he loved the chaos of The Muppet Show, he also enjoyed the quiet before everyone showed up.

Scooter set his coffee cup down on the stage manager desk off stage right and went to do a quick sweep of the stage and backstage area, just to make sure everything was fine. He had found that it was always best to know what needed to be done _before_ the cast and crew arrived and chaos broke out everywhere. Overall, things looked pretty good today.

A light was showing under the door to Kermit's office, though. Kermit never left the light on. Scooter went to investigate, pushing the door open as quietly as possible. His boss was hunched over his desk, fast asleep. Smiling, Scooter shut off the light and quietly shut the door. Kermit deserved a little more sleep, after all.


End file.
